Feb 27, 2011

My 10 year old daughter bites herself in a rage

Category: Children
Posted By: Joanna
My daughter does not know her biological father.  Four years ago I met a guy a different origin and different skin color, but it did not make any difference, half a year later was born my second daughter and then started to rebel, it was getting worse and worse I am a patient person but she shouts a lot and is angry. Two weeks ago I noticed her bite her leg.  Please Help what do I do I want my litlle girl back.

 

Answer:

It sounds like quite a complicated history with your daughter.  From what you have said I can imagine that there might be a few things going on for your daughter.  In particular your second child has a number of things that she does not, namely a father and a mother who is supported.  On top of all the normal sibling rivalry it might be very hard for her to see a new baby having some of the things she didn't when she was a baby.  It is also worth bearing in mind that she now has a place slightly might feel rather displaced by not only your new partner but also the new baby.

It was not clear exactly what happened that resulted in her biting herself but it does sound like both you and your daughter are very distressed at the moment.  I wish I could just give you some answers but I do think you would be best helped by seeking some professional advice at the moment and going to see a child or family therapist to help think things through.  If that isn't possible then I would recommend taking some time with your daughter a couple of times a week to talk to her about what is going on, how she feels, what it is that she is so angry about and what she needs from you to help her.  It needs to be time with just her and you, somewhere quiet and uninterrupted and relaxing.  Sometimes driving a car is a good place, or just before bed if your partner can have the baby and you curl up with your daughter for a while and talk.  If you like you can get back to me with some of the things that she says during these times and we can think about what it means and what you can do to help.

I really wish you both the best with sorting it out.



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