Apr 28, 2011

Is it normal to feel like hurting your children?

Category: Family Issues
Posted By: Carole
picture of upset girlSometimes when I'm wound up I feel like doing serious damage to my children. I haven't ever BUT is it normal to feel this way?

Answer:

I do admire your honesty in asking the question and 'yes' I would say it is normal to feel that way. The fact is that bringing up children in modern society is highly stressful and often brings us to extreme feelings. I cannot imagine that there is a parent in the world who has not at some point been brought to the brink of what they can tolerate. What is important for our children, however, is how we deal with these feelings. Human minds are fertile places and what goes on in our own minds is often not fit for publication. That includes our feelings of violence and rage when we have gone beyond out ability to remain calm. These are our feelings and we need to deal with them on our own and not expect our children to cope with these.

These situations are likely to occur occasionally in parents no matter how balanced they are. If, however, it is happening often then it may be that you need to find some help and support with how to cope. This could be as easy as talking to friends and family or you could seek help from a professional. If it is a situation which is happening often I would recommend that you begin to find some help with it as although you have been clear that it is not something you are acting upon, it is likely to be an unpleasant experience for both you and the child.

I would add to anyone reading this that if you are experiencing the same feelings and have any worries that you might actually act on them then it is really very important that you seek help from a child therapist, family therapist, health worker or even your GP in emergency. I would add that a professional from a therapeutic background is more likely to be able to take the information in the way it is intended, as a request for help.



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